Sunday, December 20, 2015

Life Coaching, Pep Talks, Motivational Conversations, Brainstorming & Problem-Solving

Life Coaching, Pep Talks, Motivational 
Conversations, Brainstorming & Problem-Solving

What can you expect?

I promise to genuinely care. The minute I start feeling like this is just a job and not something I’m doing from my heart, then I’ll quit doing it. I will listen to you and ask questions meant to get you thinking outside the box about how you can get from where you are to where you want to be in life.  I will probably offer advice and help you to brainstorm solutions to your problems.  Most importantly, I will do my best to inspire and encourage you to create a life that is both fulfilling and meaningful to you.  And of course, I will honor the confidential nature of this type of relationship.

We can communicate in three different ways... over the telephone, Skype, or emails.

The telephone and Skype are interchangeable. They both involve us setting up a time to talk together. The email version is naturally more economical and easier for both of us to fit into our schedules.  When discussing your situation through emails, you can write as much as you like and take as long as you need to spell it all out.  You are NOT charged for your own time.  You would only be charged for my time... spent reading, analyzing, and responding to your emails.  It’s more economical for those of you with busy schedules or who are on a tight budget.

You decide which format works best for you.

Time is sold in one hour increments without any strings attached. If you end up just needing a one time pep talk then that's okay with me. And if you feel that you need to have regular or semi-regular discussions as you go through some change in your life, then that's okay with me too. You decide how much you time you want to spend together and how often.

So how do you get started?

Decide how much time you want to start out with.  If you are unsure, “less is best.”  (You can always come back and add more time later.)  Then after you make the payment, send an email to introducing yourself and letting me know what you have in mind and how you would like to proceed.  Most of the time, you will get a response within a few hours.  Occasionally, due to illnesses, heavy school work loads, or crashing computer systems it can take a couple of days before I can respond.  However, I think it is important to acknowledge your introduction right away.

How to pay...

I don't know how to create PayPal buttons on this blog yet, so I will just tell you how to do it.  Log into your PayPal account and tell them to send your payment to... ...then send $30 for one hour of email consultation or $50 for an hour of telephone and/or Skype time.  I think PayPal allows you to include a message.

Oh and PLEASE make sure that the email address that PayPal has you use to sign into your account is an accurate one.  That is the one they will send to me and the one I will use to contact you.

Final thoughts...

I think that's it.  If you have any questions, send me an email.

I look forward to being able to help.  :)

Saturday, December 19, 2015

Growing Younger

Growing Younger

I am finished with being a grown up. I want to play more. I want to eat ice-cream at the beach. I want to be more concerned about my toe polish than my bank account. I want to wear bright colors that remind me of crayons and finger paints. I want to laugh until I snort and honk like a goose. I want to sing in the grocery store and skip on my way out to the car. I want to grow younger as I age and I don’t want to have to make excuses or be made to apologize for my actions.

I want to feel that sense of gleefulness when we decide to go to the park. I want to get excited when they announce new Saturday morning cartoon shows next fall. I want to buy new sandals in every color and goofy sunglasses to match. I want to lie on my side, roll down a hill of grass and wildflowers, and not think once about grass stains or dirty smudges.

I want to love as if my heart has never been broken. I want to give 100% without hesitating because it might not work out. I want to run into old lovers and laugh for the joy of seeing an old friend. I want to make love like it is still new forbidden territory. I want to kiss with a giggle in my heart and a twinkle in my eye.

I want to go back to school and learn fun new things, like how to dance and sing. I want to learn about movies and ancient civilizations and hummingbirds and how to say, “I love you” in three different languages. I want to lose myself in books and not worry about book reports, homework, tests, or honor roll. I want to sit in the front row fascinated by a smart and enthusiastic teacher. I want to connect the dots and color outside of the lines.

I want to build towers with blocks just to knock them down and watch them fall. I want to make trails and paths with dominoes and then gently tap that first one so the others will fall down one at a time. I want to dress my cat in doll clothes, put him in an Easter basket, and drive him around on my bicycle in that basket swinging on the handlebars like when I was eight years old. I want to roller skate and play hopscotch.

I want to believe with all my heart that I could be an astronaut, a dancer, a rock star, or a race car driver if I just set my mind to it. I want a clean slate and all options still open. I want to feel that hunger to aspire to something great. I want to feel like I was put on this planet for a very special reason. I want to assume that the world wants my gift as much as I want to give it.

I want to trust strangers without giving it a second thought. I want to believe that adults actually have all of the answers and our best interests at heart. I want to feel safe and protected simply because my dad locked the front door before saying “goodnight.” I want to feel the invincibility and cockiness of youth. I want to believe in people’s potential despite their choices. I want to assume that I can talk my way out of anything.

I want a do-over with my first driving lesson, my first serious boyfriend, my first pregnancy, and my first job. I promise this time I will be braver, more honest, smarter, and I won’t take anything for granted. I want to feel the rush of all those firsts again. I want to take more pictures this time.

I want to nap in the sunshine and make whistles from wide pieces of grass. I want to catch ladybugs and fireflies. I want to tell ghost stories and suspect that they might come true. I want to run with grass stained bare feet. I want to get lost in make-believe and forget to go home for lunch.

I want to learn how to do cartwheels, backwards somersaults, and handsprings. I want to fall down with gusto and wear my wounds with pride. I want to climb trees and hold my breath as the tree sways with the wind. I want to play Dodge Ball and Four-Square and Duck Duck Goose.

I want to go to birthday parties with balloons and streamers. I want to look forward to growing another year older and tease my peers for being younger than me. I want to receive frivolous toys and funny new hats instead of kitchen appliances and useful tools. I want to spend weeks creating the perfect Halloween costume and I want to believe in Santa Clause, the Tooth Fairy, and Peter Pan.

I want to play Pong, Ms Pacman, and Donkey Kong. I want to recite riddles and puns. I want to know all the words to all those songs. I want to play pool and ping-pong, croquet, and badminton. I want to reread the Hobbit and Huckleberry Finn. I want to watch Batman, Underdog, and the Little Rascals.

Today I want to grow younger rather than wiser. I want to play hooky, no bosses, no chores, and no bills. I want to pull the kids out of school and run off to the zoo. I want to play at the park and rhyme like Seuss. I want to say, “Yes” to donuts and “No, thank you” to lima beans. I want to find a rainbow and chase a leprechaun. I want to teach my children the fine art of puddle jumping and leapfrog. I want to chase butterflies and make cookies. I want to see life as my playground. I want to believe in magic and love at first sight. Fearless and brave I want to shout, “Gimme more!”

Copyright 2008, 2014, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow’s Edge

Possibilities Beckoning

Possibilities Beckoning

I am entering the fourth chapter of my life. The first was a mostly lousy childhood, the second was a glorious rebellion that only a wild child in their twenties can really accomplish, and the third was of motherhood and careers, including over 15 years being self-employed in an accidental career choice. This fourth chapter is about me finally getting to do what I want to do and doing it my way. I am turning 50 years old in a couple of weeks, I am in grad school working on a doctorate in clinical psychology, and my nest is almost empty.

Like many people in this stage of life, I am too young to retire and too old to tolerate a lot of unnecessary negativity in my life. I value those things that money cannot buy more than ever and I have recently been feeling a strong pull towards some unknown delightful future. I cannot say that it is about career, love, friends, family, wealth, or whatever else. I also cannot say that it is not about one or more of these things.

I feel a new journey is forming as I travel down this path towards a new career as a psychologist and as an empty-nester. I have noticed over the last couple of years a lot of, “I’m done!” followed by, “I’d rather enjoy life than continue putting up with…” There seems to be less of a desire to compromise to the point of putting everyone else’s needs first and more of a desire to say, “Hey, what about me and what I need?” I am not angry and I am not sorry for all that I did. I loved my work, I still love it. I am still working towards being of service and helping others to improve their situations, to find their own flavor of happiness, and to feel that they are worthy of something better. And I still love my children despite looking forward to being more than just someone’s mom.

This new journey has been teasing me, taunting me to spend more days at the beach and less days chained to a desk and computer. It seductively tells me to imagine having enough free time to actually begin dating again and to maybe fall in love after over a decade of being much too busy to even consider such things. And I see myself learning so many new things and getting to add a great many tools to my toolbox of skills and techniques to use when helping others to heal, grow, and thrive. I am really quite distracted by this new journey and the next chapter of my life that it is leading me towards. It feels adventurous, fun, and free of negativity and drama. I am quite excited to be on this new journey.

However, this new journey means saying goodbye to my old journey. I look back on where I have been with nostalgia, pride, and exhaustion. My old business and websites took a tough beating when the economy tanked a few years ago and it has never fully recovered. To be honest, I have also grown tired and bored with it. So, in that “everything happens for a reason” kind of mindset, I am both sorry to see it go as I once loved it with everything in my being and happy to be moving on to something new and refreshing.

This time, it will be simple and easier. Last time, I spent 70-80 hours per week building it with no income and no social, financial, or emotional support beyond what my then young children could provide. I gained 50 pounds from endlessly sitting at that desk and I lost my ability to have a life outside of work. Once it finally took off, the business model was such that I had to work 10-15 hours per day without breaks in order to keep up with the orders and even then I had to tell people that they would have to wait sometimes up to 3 months before I could begin working on their orders. Being financially successful meant having no life. This time, I will do it differently.

Last time, I fought with people’s spam filters and could not get my weekly and monthly newsletters to those that had asked for them. I spent endless hours stressing and hassling over mailing lists and trying to find what email someone originally used to opt-in to the mailing list while they were using a different one to opt-out and getting angry at me for not magically knowing that. This time, I will simply post what I have to say in this blog and make an announcement on Facebook that it is available and allow people to go look at it if and when they please.

Last time, I had to teach myself how to build, design, and maintain websites. I had to figure out how to get the almighty Google to like it and send traffic to it. That was a whole different time consuming battle from hell. Then when I finally figured it out, Google changed their rules again and again and again. Finally, they wanted me to figure out how to make the website work for hand held devices but also for laptops and desktops. This time, I will let Blogspot figure it out. I don’t care if Google likes me or my work. I am simply sharing what I am thinking, learning, and experiencing with my Facebook friends. Search engines don’t matter anymore.

Last time, I was trying to build a name for myself and so I walked on eggshells trying to say things in a way that never offended those that might disagree and I always had to weave in some kind of stupid sales pitch because I was trying to support a family on my one little income. This time, I can just speak my mind and not worry about finances and pleasing overly opinionated, grumpy, or demanding customers.

This time, I can talk about news, research, life, or whatever is on my mind without concern for how it fits into a business model. I can just say what I have to say and then go back to living life. This time, I can share diet tips, recipes, psychology related tidbits that I have found fascinating, and whatever else seems cool and applicable to those of us that might be interested in learning new things and heading off towards new horizons.

I am simplifying my life so that I might be available to say, “Yes!” to the possibilities beckoning.

I would love it if you came with me.